Friends, may I call you my friend? I hope so. I am your friend. And I’m sorry if I cannot personally be with you to help you defeat whatever calamity is upsetting you. If it were a Bully, I’d talk to them for you but in a way to keep you from ever getting bullying you again. But, are you thinking of hurting yourself or killing yourself? Trust this. I have too. I have wanted or thought about killing myself from reoccurring Horror Images that always haunt me that I witnessed and the pain of others always kicking me around like I was a can. Too many times to count. I know how it feels to be hurt. To be rejected. To be treated like a piece of do do. I know suffering.

And you may too. But I want to have a real heart to heart with you. Out of all the pain I have suffered all my life, I did something with that pain. I did something with those thoughts of suicide. I turned all those memories, all the being bullied, being hurt, being rejected, and I wrote not one, not two, not three, but four books to help you deal with all the pain you are suffering. I wrote to help you defeat your pain.

I wanted to give my readers my best writing that I know how to do. I care about too much some would say. But I do care about you. And I wanted very much to give you my very best gifts:

1. Love.
2. Hope.
3. Trust.
4. Humility.
5. Caring.

My best friend asked me and then he gave me a challenge to put my writing ability to the test. He asked me to write about this Black and White Thing. Not for him or I. But for all the ones in the World who don’t understand it or are being confronted by it every day. Bpain.But I wanted to go much deeper and help everyone suffering every day.

My friend and I are both Veterans from the Military. We both Retired as Texas Prison Guards. Our Worlds are so very oddly different from yours. In it, both of us had to learn to become very good Listeners. To learn to hear and see and feel and emphasize with an Offender contemplating killing themselves or others. Both of us saw what Happens when someone felt like no one cared. They killed themselves. Oday.Or killed others.

Blood and Bloody Images still haunt both of us. Seeing another person’s blood all over the floor, a room, or covering the face and all over a man’s body. Yes, once I checked on an Offender in One Cell and he was right there close to the Bars. And he’d cut himself everywhere and was just standing there with blood flowing all over himself.

And it reminded me of 1978 at another Texas Prison that I still think waz the worst Hell Hole ever devised by mankind. It was what they called an old Telephone style Building Unit. Long pole with wings going out the sides. And unfortunate for me, I only went into the Offenders Chowhall was once to look at the food and the rest to break up knife fights. Yes, yep. Real Knife Fights with Offenders using Shanks

or homemade knifes of every type and shape. Some are very professional looking.

Nothing ever made me happier than when I got away from that Texas Prison.

But instead of thinking about overdosing on Pills or serving up a Bullet into our Heads, don’t we all need something to read from someone whose been where you are? And that’s a very dark place. Isn’t it? Wanna cry? I know. I’ve been there.

Been there and thought it for too many days and nights. And I know, it’s the damndest problem you may ever face. Thinking about Killing Ourselves seems like a Quick Cure. But it isn’t. It’s the easiest way out, but the wrong choice. Several times I thought about going as fast as I can and crashing my truck into the center beam under an overpass. But have you ever thought about what a huge a burden you’ll be if you live and are paralyzed? Who’s gonna feed you or wipe your butt? But what if by chance you live when at the very last second you jerk the wheel and only half crash. Maybe cutoff your legs only. Or your arms. Or bite your tongue off or your eyeballs pop out.

See, lots can go wrong. So quit it please! Don’t think about hurting yourself or killing yourself ever again. So what did I do? And I still do this most days.

When the Dark Times or Dark Clouds or Darkness enters me, I start to count. You see that? When a Dark Thought enters my mind even to this day, I start counting. Counting anything and everything until it passes away. Count pictures on the wall over and over. But COUNT. Am I cured? No, I’ll have PTSD until the day I die. But I am beating it with NO DRUGS OR COUNSELING. And so can TOO. I count. It works for me.

But there needs to be just the smallest spark of life left in you. And if there is, must be because you are reading this, try reading A PANTHER’S FATHER. This book will help realign your Stars.

And I reach for the Bible when I need a pick me up. The BIBLE is good too.

My best friends are all BLACK. And my Books will raise your prestige no matter what Race you claim to be no matter where you are in the 🌎. Race doesn’t mean a thing to me. I have Black friends from Nigeria and Kenya and America. Mexican Friends from Texas and Mexico. White Friends from Texas and other places in the 🌎. Korean Friends from South Korea. Japanese Friends from Japan. Indian friends from India.

But now, I have you too. So, if you want to see what all the talk is about? Try reading

And don’t blame me if you fall in love with iit…or one of my other books. Reading is good for you. Good for me. Good for all of us. Please do…