Trump put a secret listening device in the Oval Office himself. He trusted no one and created listening devices listening in on him.

Late one night, he awakened to his listening device’s alarm and he has the Secret Service investigate but they found nothing.

On the fourth night it happened again for a 4th straight night, Trump was Furious, and believing his secret service were lying to him, he decided to investigate.

Once in the Oval Office, he looked everywhere. I’m talking EVERYWHERE. He even looked behind the paintings on the Walls. He thought maybe someone had added another listening device. He was going to check everywhere.

Then he slipped on his slipper and fell to the floor. Instantly Angry, Trump’s eyes opened from his angry face. And there he was face to face and under the Oval desk was a Mouse.

Man and Mouse. They looked at each other. “Can’t you order any thing else but KFC and McDonald’s?” the mouse asked.

“You can’t talk. You’re a Mouse,” Trump said.

“And you can’t type a Country for Shuster. Look Bubble Butt, have you ever seen a Mouse with Albert Einstein’s Head on it?”

“No, but this has to be a nightmare.”

“Nope, I’m what’s left of Albert Einstein’s Gene Tests.”

“Holy Shyster!” Trump yelled.

“Lower your Voice, Cinderella Boy,” the Mouse said.

After a long staring Contest, the Mouse decided to see exactly How Smart Trump really was. Trump was stewing in his own Anger.

In the Oval Office, under the ornate desk, the peculiar debate unfolded late at night. The mouse, sporting the head of Albert Einstein, adjusted his tiny glasses and cleared his throat, evidently ready for a serious discussion.

Mouse: “Alright, Bubble Butt, let’s talk about Russia and Ukraine. You keep mouthing off about how you can make nice with Putin, but let me ask you this: have you ever tried negotiating with a squirrel for your leftover fries?”

Trump: “Well, I—uh, squirrels are different! They’re not world leaders!”

Mouse: “Exactly! They’re not world leaders! But let’s talk about it. Ukraine is fighting for their freedom, and they’ve been absolutely fighting like heroes! You say you want to be their friend—sure, right after your KFC and McDonald’s runs. But why don’t you actually support them instead of just chatting up Putin like he’s your Hollywood agent?”

Trump: “But Putin… he’s strong! He’s a leader! You need to be strong, too! He’s Brave. He’s the Greatest.”

Mouse: “And look at you—a two-dimensional cardboard cutout at a carnival! Putin is like that overly aggressive kid in the playground who steals everyone’s juice boxes. You can’t commend that behavior! The only thing you’re strong in is procrastinating your meals to make room for more fast food!”

Trump, feeling the pressure, scratched his head. “I just think, if I can talk to him, maybe something good could come out of it!”

Mouse: “Oh, sure! While you’re at it, how about you invite him for a game of Monopoly? Maybe then he’ll give back Ukraine their pieces instead of hoarding them like some greedy raccoon! You think that’s leadership? You look more confused than a cat in a dog park!”

Trump: “You’re calling me confused? You’re a mouse!”

Mouse: “A mouse with genius DNA! It’s like I’m the smartest thing in this room, and I mean, that’s not saying much when you’re competing against a man who thinks tariffs are a kind of pastry!”

Trump: “Hey! My tariffs are top-notch! The bestest Tariffs ever. They are meant to protect American jobs! Create New Jobs. Lower Taxes. Make things right. Fix everything.”

Mouse: “Protect American jobs? You’re better off having a deep-fried Twinkie run your economy! Your tariffs were about as useful as a screen door on a submarine! All they did was raise prices for everyone and give you a really, really bad haircut!”

Trump: “How dare you! My hair is stylish!”

Mouse: “Stylish? It looks like a raccoon fell into a bag of cotton candy! And what’s up with those tariffs on steel and aluminum? You were just aiming at the workers! You could have just asked, ‘Hey, can we turn the factory into a funhouse instead?’”

Trump, flustered, retorts: “Well, maybe people should appreciate what I tried to do!”

Mouse: “Appreciate? The only thing people appreciate is when you don’t make speeches at two in the morning about how you wish to be pals with a guy who uses bears as accessories! You’re making more flip-flops than a fish out of water!”

Trump sighed, realizing he was arguing with a mouse who had more sense than he did. “Alright, alright! Maybe you’ve got a point there, Einstein…”

Mouse: “Yes! Finally, Mr. McNugget! Now we’re making headway. Let’s get this straight: supporting Ukraine means standing up to tyranny, not whispering sweet nothings to a dictator. And by the way, it’s ‘Einstein the Mouse’ to you!”

With the debate ongoing, Trump found himself laughing—completely forgetting the absurdity of the situation, standing there with a mouse that had somehow outsmarted him at every turn.

Trump: “I was thinking they were just having a good time! It’s like a football game, you know? Everyone’s excited!”

Mouse: “Excited? Excited is when I find a pile of cheese at a picnic—it’s not storming the Capitol like it’s Black Friday at a Best Buy! Did you cue them in on it? ‘Hey, let’s grab the snacks and overthrow the snack table!’?”

Trump: “No, no, I was just trying to get them to stay peaceful! Just like I encourage folks to enjoy a little fast food in moderation!”

Mouse: “Yeah, well, some folks took ‘fast food’ a little too seriously, and by ‘fast food,’ I mean throwing chairs and breaking windows! You should’ve just offered them a Big Mac instead!”

Trump: “That’s exactly what I was trying to do! Maybe they just misunderstood my message!”

Mouse, giggling: “Misunderstood? You know what else gets misunderstood? Saying ‘I’ll pay you later’ to a working woman! Speaking of which, let’s talk about this Stormy Daniels character. Care to elaborate, or does it involve a bunch of Twinkies I have to peel off?”

Trump: “Stormy! Yeah, well—she was just, um, a great performer, you know? Like KFC makes chicken great again!”

Mouse: “Chicken! Can we focus? Stormy Daniels didn’t exactly star in a blockbuster Hollywood film. She’s earned her stripes. Did you whittle away your potential as a candy factory owner to get cozy with her?”

Trump: “I was just being a good businessman! You have to network!”

Mouse: “Ah yes, networking! Is that what you call it when you’re getting your face in a Twinkie like it’s a spa day? I mean, truly, there’s a reason Mickey Mouse hasn’t collabed with you yet!”

Trump, wringing his hands: “Now just wait a minute! It was just a misunderstanding! She was a great lady!”

Mouse, laughing hysterically: “Great lady? More like the Twinkie Queen herself! I can picture it now: ‘Here’s your dessert, Mr. Trump! Enjoy these sweet treats while our future is melting like butter!’ You know what they say, right? An idiot pays, not a shyster!”

Trump, finally cracking up: “Alright, alright! Maybe I should’ve just ordered a pizza instead!”

Mouse: “Pizza? My dude, when you’re dealing with high-profile folks, just don’t pay with coupons unless you want Stormy to serve you Twinkies pizza-style! She could start a whole new trend: ‘Twinkies on the side for a side hustle!’”

Trump: “Don’t you think that might confuse people even more? I mean, it’s hard enough without adding dessert to the menu!”

Mouse: “Confusing? Sir, you’ve got a brain made for a buffet platter already! We’re past confusion! The real question is: how do we clean up this mess you’ve made? You know what they need on the Capitol steps? A giant cake that says, ‘Let’s not take ourselves too seriously!’”

Trump: “Now that’s something I could get behind! Less stress, more Twinkies!”

Mouse, rolling around with laughter: “Exactly! And while we’re at it, let’s throw in a giant banner: ‘Squirrels for Democracy!’ You might have just found your next campaign slogan! Looks like I’m gonna have to go, the Misses just showed up”

Trump: “Now that’s some real marketing! Let’s do it! You’re Brilliant! You’re ten times smarter than I. I’ll need to talk more with you.”

With the debate turning into laughter and absurdity, Trump felt a strange camaraderie with a mouse wearing Einstein’s head. But one thing was clear; he was getting a masterclass in political humor and Twinkie economics—all thanks to his furry counterpart!

TRUMP: “I’m gonna have to put out Twinkies now just for you Albert.”

VANCE: “That sounds great. Bubble Butt. Now go back to bed, you’re only sleepwalking again,” said JD.

Read a Great Book or Listen to one-