Trump-Putin Summit: The Great Debate on Fries, Hats, and Bridges

Scene: A grand, ornate summit room in a palatial building. Gold trim, heavy curtains, and two very large chairs. The room is unusually quiet, save for the soft hum of the air conditioning.

Trump: “So, Vladimir. A very, very good meeting. A very strong meeting. People are saying it’s the best meeting. But I have to ask you… this McDonald’s thing. You threw them out? And now you have… ‘Russian Fries’?”

Putin: (A small, almost imperceptible smile plays on his lips) “Donald, you Americans are too simple. Too much salt, not enough soul. The McDonald’s potatoes… they were weak. We replaced them. Now we have the Russian Fries. They are made from the finest Siberian potatoes. They are the best fries in the world. Better than any fries. Unmatched. The flavor is… a testament to Russian resolve.”

Trump: “Unbelievable. And the Big Mac? What about the Big Mac? A tremendous sandwich, everyone knows it. I’ve sold millions of Big Macs. Maybe billions.”

Putin: “The Big Mac… it is a children’s toy. We have the ‘Triple Mackster.’ Three patties of prime Russian beef. A secret sauce you will never guess. And yes… two more buns. It is a sandwich for a man who is strong. It is a sandwich of true power, Donald. And it is delicious.”

Trump: (Leaning forward, genuinely impressed) “The Triple Mackster… I like the sound of that. Very strong. Very, very strong. We should talk about franchising. We’ll put them in Trump Towers. Tremendous.”

Putin: “We will see. But first, your hat. I see you wear the red cap. The ‘Make America Great Again’ cap. It is… a good color. But it is not a hat of true greatness. Who made it? I will have to find out. Because I am having my team create the ‘Make Russia Great Again’ hat. A very strong, very tall hat. Perhaps it will be fur. For the cold. A powerful hat.”

Trump: “My caps are the best caps. Millions of people have bought them. The red is a fantastic color. The greatest. Nobody has a better red. But I have to say, a fur one… that’s a new idea. A strong idea. We’ll have to consider that for the winter.”

Putin: “Excellent. But if you truly want to see strength, you must come to Moscow. I will show you a military parade… a real military parade. With real missile launchers. Very big. Very impressive. And you will see my big, brown bear. He is my best friend. Very strong. He likes to be ridden. You must ride him, Donald.”

Trump: “A bear? A big brown bear? I’ve seen some bears, they’re not very strong. Very sad. But a big brown one… I like that. We’ll have to see. And a military parade with missile launchers… that’s big league. Not like the ones we’ve had before. The best. We will have to discuss it.”

Putin: “And the bridge, Donald. The bridge. I see Alaska from my house, you know. It’s very close. We must build a bridge. A bridge from Russia to America. The greatest bridge ever built. It will have gold leaf. It will be made with the finest concrete. No one will have a better bridge.”

Trump: “A bridge to Russia… from America… it’s a very, very smart idea. A tremendous idea. People are going to love that. The biggest bridge in the world. We’ll put our names on it. The Trump-Putin Bridge. It will be a sight to see. People will pay a lot of money just to walk on it.”

Putin: (He raises his glass of mineral water) “To the greatest bridge. And to the Triple Mackster.”

Trump: “I’ll drink to that. The Triple Mackster. A tremendous idea.”

And Trump went into a mental lockout. His mind could not put the Triple Mackster together in his mind. But he tired quickly and fell asleep framing in his mind of the ultimate Big Triple Mackster

or was it?

or was it?

or was it?

Or waz it?

Top Bun

Meat Pattie

Middle Bun

Meat Pattie

Middle Bun

Meat Pattie

Bottom Bun

Or just read a great book-