The Translator reads the beginning statement about both men.

Trump’s view: Homelessness is a consequence of individual moral failure, laziness, and a breakdown of public order that ruins the aesthetic of successful cities.
Putin’s view: Homelessness is a sign of national weakness, a lack of compulsory service to the state, and a wasted resource that must be controlled and repurposed for state benefit.

The Summit on Urban Order

Moderator: (A calm, international figure) Gentlemen, we are here to discuss one of the most visible and pressing social issues in our world today: the homeless crisis in major metropolitan areas. President Trump, we’ll begin with you. Your policy centers on clearing the streets and restoring order.¹ How do you view the individuals living in encampments in American cities?

Donald Trump: (Leaning forward, gesturing with both hands)

“Look, it’s a disgrace. A total, absolute disgrace. I’ve built the most beautiful buildings in the world, and I see what’s happening to our great cities—San Francisco, L.A., New York. They’re being destroyed by filth and disorder. And let’s be honest, you have three types of people out there: the truly sick, who need to be immediately and involuntarily moved to proper institutions—which we will build, big and beautiful—and then you have the majority. They are Homeless, but frankly, a lot of them are just Lazy People. They’ve lost the will to work, they prefer the ‘gravy train’ of the street, the easy life of the sidewalk. A great, wealthy country like ours cannot tolerate this visible surrender. We need to tell them: Move Out, or get to work! The streets are for business, not for sleeping.”

Moderator: President Putin, your view of poverty and homelessness in Russia has historically been tied to the stability of the state. When you see a person living on the street, what is your assessment?

Vladimir Putin: (Sitting upright, speaking with cold precision)

“Mr. Trump focuses on aesthetics. I focus on utility. Like you, Donald, are poor. You are a Peasant Billionaire with such few Billions. In my Comrade Country on the street and on any country is a Peasant who has failed the social contract, but more importantly, he is an asset that is currently leaking value. In Russia, we do not tolerate this kind of self-pitying chaos. A homeless person is a visible sickness, yes, but also a resource—a body—unaccounted for by the state. Their idleness is a treason against the nation’s strength. You are a Peasant.”

Donald Trump: (Scoffs)

“A resource? They’re draining the city budget, Vladimir. They’re a tax on my properties. They’re a negative. They ruin the vibe for the tourists, they scare the good, hard-working people. It’s a loser situation, and I hate losers. And I am no peasant.”

Vladimir Putin:

“That is where the American capitalist mind is soft, Donald. You throw money at the problem and call it ‘aid.’ We use the problem. If a man has a heartbeat, he has value to the state. We have clear policies for these ‘unemployed elements.’ If they are fit to fight, they go to the War. The discipline of the military will correct their soul, and their sacrifice will cleanse their failure. If they are too old, too infirm, but still able to hold a shovel, then they are a labor unit. They are not sent to be pampered in a ‘big, beautiful institution.’ They are sent to Siberia, to the territories where work is needed. There, they will work, they will be fed simple, honest food, and they will have a place to sleep under the state’s watchful eye. We do not reward failure; we repurpose it into strength.”

Donald Trump: (Shaking his head dismissively)

“Siberia? That’s ancient history, Vladimir. We don’t need labor camps; we need to privatize the solution! My plan is better. I mandate drug treatment, mandatory psychiatric care, castration,1 and work requirements. If they refuse, they lose all public services. It’s about accountability. They need to stand up, get a job, and stop being a burden. It’s simple business: you have a problem, you fire the people responsible, you cut the costs, and you make the property—the city—valuable again. You can’t just ship them away; you’ve got to clean it up and teach them the Americano peasant. My plan brings discipline without the frozen tundra.”

Vladimir Putin:

“Discipline, you say? Your ‘work ethic’ is a luxury, Donald. The man who is sleeping on a grate in New York has already proven he is allergic to your ‘work ethic.’ He has rejected the system of your billionaires. The kindness your soft-hearted charities offer is what keeps the crisis going—it encourages dependence. My solution is permanent. There is no appeal. There is only the service of the state or the complete and total absence from the streets. You are trying to sell them a better life; I am selling them a purpose, however brutal. It is more honest.”

Moderator: (Interjecting, looking at the contrast between the two Billionaires)

“Gentlemen, your solutions are certainly clear. But President Trump, your critics argue that as a man who has lived an entire life in the lap of luxury, you simply do not comprehend the systemic issues—the lack of affordable housing, mental health resources, and addiction—that push people onto the street. You call them ‘lazy,’ but is it not possible that a billionaire is blind to the economic realities of the truly destitute?”

Donald Trump:

“It’s not about being blind; it’s about having a clear vision. I know success, and I know failure. The system works for people who want to work! The idea that someone is forced to be on the street because they couldn’t afford a twenty-dollar-a-day coffee habit is ridiculous. My success shows what’s possible. These people need a kick-start, a strong hand, not a handout. They need to look at me—look at what I’ve built—and be inspired to fix their own lives. If you are not succeeding in the richest country in the world, the problem is not the country. The problem is the person. And I’m the one tough enough to say it.”

Vladimir Putin:

“The problem is the person, yes, but the failure is also a stain on the nation. America’s homelessness is a symbol of its excessive freedom and its obsession with the individual. The state must be the ultimate authority and the ultimate safety net, but that net is woven from obligation. If you are a Russian, you exist to serve Russia. If you cannot find work, the state provides a place for you to contribute—whether on the battlefield or in the frozen earth. No idleness. No whining. Only service. That is how a great nation manages its resources.”

Moderator:

“So, to summarize your collective philosophy: one sees them as lazy people to be expelled from the marketplace, and the other as peasants to be forcibly repurposed by the state. Neither of you sees a future for the homeless where they are rehabilitated and voluntarily integrated back into society.”

Donald Trump:

“Only after they prove they deserve it. Only after they clean up their act. But Homelessness is the Democrats Problem. Joe Biden Created it. Democrats have no answers for any real Issues. They are fake workers. They are horrible people. I need to send all of them to Siberia.”

Vladimir Putin:

“Integration is a weak promise. Service is a strong guarantee. I can’t go on any longer. Donald, I tried to help you over and over and over. But you are too W O K E for me.”

Moderator: Donald and Vladimir, we will take a Lunch Break.

Three hours to by.

The Summit on Urban Order: Part 2

Moderator: Gentlemen, let us continue our discussion with six new areas of inquiry that challenge your approaches to what you both describe as a national problem.

Question 1: The Cost of Inaction

Moderator: President Trump, you focus on the aesthetic and economic cost of visible homelessness. What is the human capital cost of simply leaving thousands of potentially productive citizens on the streets to languish without comprehensive support?

Donald Trump: “The human cost is simple: it’s a lack of pride. They gave up. But the true capital cost is what they do to the surrounding area. When you have a massive encampment, the property values go down, the taxes collected go down, and the whole city looks like a dump. My beautiful properties lose value! The most productive capital is the honest, tax-paying citizen, and they are the ones suffering, forced to walk past needles and waste. The cost of ‘support’ is a bad investment. The cost of inaction is a lost election because the voters want a clean, safe city, and that’s the real bottom line.”

Vladimir Putin: “The cost of inaction is a hole in the nation’s armor. It is a vacuum of labor. Every idle person is a missing unit of production. This is a flaw of the liberal system—it lets people decide that they are too fragile for hard work. In a great state, every citizen is a brick. If the brick is lying on the ground, it is not supporting the wall. The cost is a weaker state. We do not tolerate a luxury like self-pitying idleness. We will extract the value.”

Question 2: The Role of Mental Health

Moderator: President Putin, much of the unsheltered population has severe, chronic mental health issues. How would your mandatory work-or-war policy deal with an individual who is medically incapable of understanding or performing state service?

Vladimir Putin: “A mind that is broken is no use to the state. But a body that is broken still needs to be controlled. If the sickness is genuine and permanent, they are a national ward. They are removed from public sight. They are not left to pollute the streets. They are moved to the vast, controlled institutions of the state, where their care is handled by the state—not by bleeding-heart volunteers. It is not compassionate, but it is orderly. And it ensures they are not a visible weakness for our enemies to point to.”

Donald Trump: “It’s funny, the only thing we agree on is they need to be locked up—I mean, institutionalized. But I’ll do it better. I’ll build the best, the biggest, the most expensive mental health facilities. But it will be involuntary, and it will be out of my sight. The problem is these liberal judges who say you can’t force people to get help. That’s crazy! They are a danger to themselves and a danger to the good citizens. My policy is simple: if you are visibly mentally ill on the street, you are removed. We will restore the Asylums—but we will call them ‘Wellness Centers,’ and they will be incredible.“

Question 3: Accountability for the Wealthy

Moderator: Mr. Trump, you speak of a lack of personal accountability among the homeless. What is the accountability of billionaires like yourself, who benefit from a system that generates extreme wealth while contributing to the high cost of living that pushes the working poor onto the streets?

Donald Trump: “That’s a ridiculous, low-energy question. We are the job creators! We build the cities! Without us, there are no jobs, no towers, no taxes to pay for anything! If the cost of living is high, it means the city is successful. That’s a good problem to have. If a worker can’t keep up, he needs to work harder, smarter, and find a way to get on the winning team. Don’t blame the winners for the environment we created. Blame the politicians who allow illegal immigration and who don’t control the flow of drugs. I created the wealth; I didn’t create the laziness.”

Vladimir Putin: “The wealthy are accountable to the nation, not to some abstract concept of ‘social justice.’ The oligarchs in my nation—those who are still with us—understand their purpose: they serve the interests of the state. They finance its projects, they strengthen its power. In America, the wealthy are undisciplined; they serve only their ledger. But Mr. Trump is right on one point: a successful economy is simply a high-demand economy. If the poor cannot afford to live where the action is, they must be relocated to where their labor is cheap and required. That is an immutable law of economics and power.”

Question 4: The Impact on Families and Children

Moderator: The crisis often includes entire families, with children living in cars or tents. What is your approach to these children?

Vladimir Putin: “The child is a national resource, and a child should not be raised by a failed peasant. The state must step in immediately. The family unit that fails to provide basic order and utility is dissolved. The children are placed in state academies, institutions where they are fed, clothed, and, most importantly, taught loyalty to the state. We break the cycle of poverty by breaking the influence of the failed parent. It is a harsh necessity for the future of the nation.”

Donald Trump: “It’s a very sad thing, the children. Very, very sad. But it’s still a symptom of a larger rot. My policy would be to immediately move the families to temporary shelters—better than what they have now, believe me, a great improvement—but with strict requirements. The parents must immediately apply for every job available. They must submit to drug testing. If they fail, the children are moved to foster care. We cannot have children seeing their parents fail every day. It’s bad for the optics, and it’s bad for the country. We give them a chance, but it’s one chance, and they need to take it.”

Question 5: The Role of Charity and Religion

Moderator: Mr. Putin, you’ve cracked down on international non-profits and charities that assist the homeless, labeling some as ‘foreign agents.’ Why does a simple act of charity pose a threat to the state?

Vladimir Putin: “Charity is not a threat, but the source of the charity is crucial. When foreign organizations feed our people, they are not offering food; they are purchasing influence. They are creating a dependency on an external power, which weakens the national spirit. Furthermore, they are normalizing failure. The state must be the provider, and the individual must earn that provision through loyalty and labor. A foreign non-profit tells the peasant that his failure is acceptable. That is a dangerous, Western lie. In Russia, you rely on the state, and you obey the state. No foreign meddling.”

Donald Trump: “He’s right about one thing: the charities are a mess. They just enable the bad behavior. They give out the free food, the free tents, and the people stay on the street. It’s a vicious cycle! I love churches, and they can help, but it needs to be my plan. No more ‘Housing First’—that’s a disaster. It needs to be Accountability First. My kind of charity is building a massive complex where they are cleaned up, they are drug-tested, and they are forced to look for a job before they get a nice bed. It’s tough love, but it’s the only love that works.”

Question 6: A Definition of Success

Moderator: Finally, gentlemen, how do you define success in eliminating the homeless crisis? What is the metric that proves your policy has worked?

Donald Trump: “My metric is visible. It’s beautiful. Success is zero people sleeping on the streets, period. When you can walk down Fifth Avenue or the streets of San Francisco and see absolutely no visible disorder, no encampments, and no filth—that is success. It’s a clean city, a safe city, where property values are soaring, and everyone is happy. It’s an aesthetic and an economic win. We make our cities great again by removing the visible failures. But peas of a feather flock together. And I killed DEI because I hate Movies that show My Soul Brother. There is only one Soul. And it doesn’t belong only on a black person.”

Vladimir Putin: “Success is not visible; it is statistical. Success is when the official government ledger shows zero citizens unaccounted for. Every person is either in mandatory service, in a military unit, or in a controlled state institution for the infirm or mentally ill. There are no loose ends. The individual has been completely absorbed by the state structure and is no longer acting outside of its control. The nation is stronger because its resources are managed. Total order is total success. Donald, you are no success. You are a poor Billionaire. You have failed to crack down on your peasants. You must listen to me and follow my every instruction. Then, if you do, you can remain in Power until you Die. Donald, my Soul Brother.”

And President Trump yanked his microphone off the collar of his shirt and pushed the Podium to make it fall.