Turn Me Loose

In the 1990s, I took the family to SEA WORLD in San Antonio, Texas. At the small lake, they put on a nice line of entertainment including Yellow Pokie Dot Bikini and Fabian sang TURN ME LOOSE. And told all of us that we had to turn him loose. And I took that to mean, let his fame and that sort of stuff go.

Reports indicate Fabian was part of the SeaWorld concert series during that era, with attendees mentioning his performances alongside other 1950s/60s acts such as Frankie Valli and The 4 Seasons.
While his performances were in the 90s, he continues to perform with Frankie Avalon and Bobby Rydell as “The Golden Boys”.

https://youtu.be/ge9Ou3-YyqU?si=MssO3LVOU2d_tCD_

And then I saw THE MADISON on PRIME. And Kurt Russell Dies in a plane crash. And for 6 full episodes, it felt like my love and awe of this famous actor was being yanked away from me. And after following Kurt Russel for all my life, The sadness of Kurt Russell’s Death keeps creeping back to me and in me. Are you leaving us Kurt? It sure feels that way. felt tgat way.

And it does pain me as it might pain you too. But not nearly as much as our losing our first baby, my fatger, my grandmother and grandmother all in a year and a half. Well, the pain wagon done picked me up and that damn thing drove right to the front door of our house. Picked me up and I was stone cold hurt. I hurt inside so incredible bad. But parent deaths do that to us. And so do other close relatives.

It is never easy to lose a titan. For many of us, watching that first episode was like settling into a warm, familiar room only to have the floor fall out from under us. Seeing an icon like Kurt Russell depart so abruptly isn’t just a plot twist; it feels like a breach of contract between the storyteller and the soul.

We grew up with that face. Whether he was the defiant hero or the rugged survivor, he represented a certain kind of steady strength. To see that extinguished in the very first hour leaves a hollow space in the chest—a sharp, sudden “hurtness” that lingers long after the credits roll.

The Anatomy of the Ache

That feeling of loss is something I know intimately. It is a weight I have carried through the halls of prisons and across the dry stretches of the Texas oilfields. It’s the silence that follows a sudden departure, the echo of a voice you weren’t ready to stop hearing. When we lose a character—or an actor who felt like a North Star—it triggers every other quiet grief we’ve tucked away.

In my own writing, I don’t shy away from that sting. I’ve walked my characters through the valley of the shadow, often pulling from the well of my own life—the grit of the unit, the iron bars of the cellblock, and the long road of a life well-lived. I know that for a story to feel real, the wounds have to bleed. You can’t appreciate the light unless you’ve spent a fair amount of time staring into the dark.

From the Fire to the Light

But here is the promise I make to my readers: I will never leave you in the ashes.

While a series might leave us mourning a hero in the first episode, leaving us adrift in that hurt, I view my books as a hand reaching into the flames. Yes, the fire is hot. Yes, the loss is real. But the purpose of the struggle is the transformation.

Empathy as a Bridge: I write the hurt because I have felt it. When you read my words, you are hearing from someone who has stood where you are.
The Persistence of Hope: In every narrative I craft, there is a thread of resilience. It is the “Hog Dog” spirit—finding the absurdity and the grace even when the situation is dire.
The Aftermath of the Hero: Even when a hero falls, the values they stood for don’t have to die with them. We carry their strength forward.

A Gentle Reminder

To my fellow readers and viewers who are feeling that sting today: breathe. It is okay to be upset that the story didn’t go the way we hoped. It’s okay to miss the presence of a legend.

But remember that the best stories—the ones that stay with us for seventy years and beyond—are the ones that teach us how to survive the loss. I write to give you that map. I write to show you that while the fire may be terrifying, it is not the end of your chapter. There is always a way out, and there is always a reason to keep turning the page.

We’ll get through the fire together. Same to you, Buddy.

My books are A PANTHER’S FATHER Book Series and you need to grab that first book and see what you’re missing.